by J. Loh
a dead cat bounced once or twice
a dead man walked as a soldier from Qin dynasty
who dreamed about climbing the Great Wall
across the vast northern wasteland
and only found himself turned
into a ghost in the bushes
like a shapeless shadow of wind
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such vivid affairs one could not tell
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in the midnight silence
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and I knew nothing about the basement
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where rats and cockroaches fought among themselves
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I was alive, but couldn't walk nor bounce around
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as a black swan or a white cat
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while you said, come join the soldiers of the cockroaches.
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Why not rats, I asked.
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one inch seemed one million miles away
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with two worlds apart
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there was something inside me I couldn't reach
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"tear me into pieces", you said,
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"nothing is authentic or genuine as you will see
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in pieces of me"
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I was alive, but couldn't walk as a living being
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the world surrounding me
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was a tiny drop of the rain, dripping down
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from a pigeon's wing-tip
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time turned into a grain of sand --
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-- the sole truth of the universe
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with sore and pain in my back
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I couldn't go too far from my flesh nor bring the true pieces of me
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to the silent tides
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I couldn't touch the shades of solidity
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while my door was cracking --
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the boundary of myself was disappearing
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something completely foreign was reshaping
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I felt the dim light of the rainy day came inside me
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and shed on the cracked floor
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when curtains were still tightly shut
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Gapping, sobbing, and yelling in pain
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I felt the dead man moving out of my body
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and the grain of sand was free-flying
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in the pouring rain
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love or being loved was a state of quantum
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-- rats or cockroaches didn't matter --
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when a terra cotta soldier was walking
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in the mighty wind.
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Sept. 6, 2015 written in BJ
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附中文翻译:今天$}#Sy/eK}?(A
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《兵马俑》oZ
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作者、翻译:莫笑愚今天,z#X Z!o0Iu4G0|
gf4~'`$ug[H0今天 h1gsryyQ
一只死猫回光返照了一次或两次今天p|vN1B3]
一个死去的人行走,仿佛来自秦朝的兵士3Tpi4bC7Qo!C0
他梦见自己跨越北方广袤的荒原~d qN.R G M0
攀上了长城Qb
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结果却发现自己变成鬼魂Tby*tA0
仿佛草丛中无形的风影今天1Q t3PQ$Y0Xt7|7O'x3Q&@Ikl1x6u0
人们在午夜的寂静中 u6k?#Y"|M ^G0
分不清这些生动的事物今天"H!h8j"Jf6d n{
而我对地下室里发生的一切也一无所知 _#KJJ.V$Qz
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老鼠和蟑螂在那里战斗今天*i*@ xn/NA'EZb
我活着,却不能像黑天鹅或白猫那样8p|Y8lY(m0
行走或弹跳今天1j4K
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而你说,来吧,加入蟑螂的战斗群。s;Sr4cA*d{0今天1lJT
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为什么不是老鼠,我说。j#Q[?d!z0
一英寸似乎相隔百万英里4w
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两个世界天差地别今天Kb$gW}Z
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一些东西在我心中,我无法触及今天Qj3\
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“将我撕成碎片吧”,你对我说,今天*SF~f~
“在碎裂的我中,没有什么是纯正的今天4? q2` P
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或真实的”今天3iY&L0c-K*[Y^!n今天r}8e9h1X`4t/?
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我活着,无法如众生行走c+PH#sw'n5K3?.j0
我周围的世界(oQ q5L|P*^&m5LU0
是一小滴雨水,从鸽子的翅尖 ^)~R
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时间成为一粒沙 ——今天 h
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—— 这宇宙的唯一真理2f
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我腰酸背痛今天+|3H8|^ ]+b
无法离开自身的肉体走得太远,也不能将真实的我的碎片1{oV1v"RW(M'Mu S0
带进静默的潮汐 ——1Y&hG#k F8Z;j]0
我无法触碰这坚固的阴影今天3Jg.n _es,XFz
而我的门在开裂今天-]7aK?&eaXE
我自身的边界在消失今天8V P&n(mOe{3Q!S#K
一些完全陌生的事物在重塑-@k h#mv!S;{0
我感到昏暗的灯光在雨天进入我的内心今天1[tY)[1y_T-x1|
洒在破裂的地板上今天0O-p4Wm8kP
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当窗帘依然紧闭今天7c t0[KeeA'?2w`今天 \}FR(T/H
撕裂着,哭泣着,带着疼痛呼号着]3T_8W)q0
我感到这死去的人正在移出我的体内今天 Ml"_0Sf+t{$G
而细小的沙粒在瓢泼大雨中%yd5cr
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自由飞行——;x#|w)?.R"pw|0
爱或被爱都是量子状态今天H8v|y-r@
—— 老鼠或蟑螂都不重要 ——今天+A4bH,L"d8k#}e2o
当兵马俑的士兵w#k'O
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行走,在迅疾的风中。今天AT7zJ)Q|Ybm今天3D'M(XF/t zR6F\
2015-9-6于北京